I Can't Be Without You
by TakerTakeMe
Summary: COMPLETE! When Chris won't leave his wife, Stephanie does the unthinkable!
1. Chapter 1

**Title: **I Can't Be Without You

**Author:** TakerTakeMe

**Disclaimer:** I own no one and (as usual) everything that happens is fictional.

**Summary:** When Chris won't leave his wife, Stephanie does the unthinkable!

**Chapter:** 1

_"Look, Stephy, I can't leave Jessica," Chris said._

_"And why the hell not, Chris?" Stephanie wanted to know._

_"She's the mother of my child!"_

_"But you don't love her the way you love me."_

_"I know..."_

_"And she doesn't love you the way I love you."_

_"I know, but that's beside the point. My son... I can't leave my child."_

_"Fine, Chris," she said in an abnormally quiet voice. "I love you."_

_"And I love you, too," he assured her. "Now I'll talk to you tomorrow."_

_"Goodbye," she whispered, then hung up her phone before she could hear him return the words._

**The Next Day**

Chris pulled up at the secret beach house that he shared with Stephanie the next day, replaying the previous night's conversation over and over in his mind. Stephanie had quite a few valid points. Last night after they'd hung up, he'd lain in bed next to Jessica trying to get his thoughts together.

He loved Jessica as the mother of his child and as a friend, but nothing more. Any feelings he had once had for her that were of a romantic nature had long ago disappeared. He only loved Stephanie, and he realized it. Their love was pure, new, and exciting. He would be a fool to stay with his wife and pass up his chance with his one true love.

It was at that moment that he had made his decision. He'd gotten up quickly and scribbled his wife a note. He'd laid it, along with his wedding band, on the bedside table. She would see it first thing in the morning when she woke up. He would not be lying next to her in the bedroom in their Tampa home when she found it.

He had thrown some clothes on, then grabbed his wallet, cell phone, and car keys. He didn't have to bother with bringing extra clothes. There were clothes at the beach house and besides, he could always come back and get them at some other time. He'd gone into his son's room and said a tearful goodbye to the sleeping child, promising that he would come back to see him although he knew his son didn't hear him. He'd kissed him softly on the forehead, stood up, and wiped the tears from his own face. And then he was gone without a look back.

He had driven all night, nonstop, and finally here he was, at the beach house. He knew Stephanie was there. He sat in the car, nervous. He hadn't told her that he was coming. He hadn't told her his decision.

Just then, his cell phone rang. He picked it up and flipped the screen up. Stephanie's beautiful face flashed across the screen of his T-Mobile Sidekick 2, and he smiled, thinking back to when he had taken that picture. "The Morning After Sex" picture, that's what he'd named it. She never even knew he took it...

"Hey, baby," he answered.

"Chris," Stephanie breathed into the phone. She sounded like she was crying.

"Stephy, what's wrong?" he asked.

"Don't ever doubt my love for you," she whispered. "I love you more than life itself."

"I don't doubt your love for me, sweetie," he said, confused. "Why would I?"

"Life isn't worth living without you," she said dully. "I can't be without you and if you're still with your wife then I'm without you and I can't _be _that way!"

"Stephy, just calm down," he said, alarmed at her "life isn't worth living without you" statement. He got out of the car, heading for the front door. He licked his lips nervously. "Where are you?"

"In our bed at the beach house," she said, her voice getting dreamy. "We've made so many memories here, Chris..."

"We're still going to make memories there," he said, slipping through the front door. "Countless memories. A lifetime of passionate and beautiful memories."

"Not while you're with her," she said bitterly, and then she started sobbing again. "I left Hunter for you, but you won't leave her."

"But I-"

"Maybe you don't want me like I want you," she said.

"I do. Never doubt-"

"Shhh, Chrissy," she said softly. He obeyed her, silently climbing the stairs. "I love you... Maybe you'll understand how much I love you afterwards..."

"After what?" he asked, his voice a pitch higher as a feeling of dread seized him. He made his way down the hall to the bedroom.

She was silent. He could hear her moving around.

"After what?" he repeated louder, worried.

"Never say I didn't love you, Chris," she whispered, and hung up the phone.

Chris made it to the bedroom just in time to see her. She was sitting in the middle of the bed. She slowly raised the gun up to her head. He locked eyes with her.

"NO!" he yelled, his phone clattering to the ground.

She pulled the trigger.


	2. Chapter 2

**Title: **I Can't Be Without You

**Author:** TakerTakeMe

**Disclaimer:** I own no one and (as usual) everything that happens is fictional.

**Summary:** When Chris won't leave his wife, Stephanie does the unthinkable!

**Chapter:** 2

He closed his eyes as his heart felt like it was painfully ripped from his chest. His one true love...gone. And it was all his fault.

"Damn it!" Stephanie said angrily.

He heard clicking sounds and opened his eyes a little. He expected to see blood everywhere, brains dripping off the headboard. His heart nearly stopped when he opened his eyes and saw her sitting on the bed looking at the gun in her hand with disgust.

"Stephy, what the hell?" he said hoarsely, rushing over to the bed.

"I forgot to load the bullets," she whispered, tossing the gun on the floor before jumping into his arms.

"What were you thinking, Stephy?" he asked into her hair as he hugged her. "Were you going to leave me just like that?"

"Chris... I..." She started sobbing. "Chris, I can't be without you. Last night you said you couldn't leave your wife, and that just broke my heart. I can't _live_ without you."

"You don't have to. I'm here now," he said soothingly, rubbing her back.

"Yes, you're here now," she said, "but how long is 'now'? That's what bothers me, Chris. I love you so much that life isn't worth living without you here with me."

"I feel the same way," he whispered. "That's why I left her."

She pulled back to look at him. "You left her?" she asked, amazed.

"Yes. After out conversation last night, I realized how foolish I would be to stay with her when _you_ are my one true love," he said. "Of course, details will have to be worked out, but you know where my heart lies, Stephy, and that's with you."

"How'd you get here so fast?" she asked curiously.

"I drove all damn night, baby," he said. "I wanted to surprise you. But instead..."

"Instead, I almost gave _you_ a surprise," she said. "Look, I'm sorry about that, sweetie, but the prospect of a life without you is bleak and sad for me. So I figured, what's the use in living?"

"Don't ever think that way," he told her. "Ok?"

She nodded, giving him a shaky smile, then stood up. "I'm going to go get a shower, ok?"

"That's fine..." He watched her walk around the room, gathering up some stuff, then heading into the shower. He heard the water start to run. He stood up and picked up the gun off the floor. He couldn't believe what she had almost done to herself. Sitting down on the edge of the bed, he found himself wondering what he would've done if she'd actually remembered to load the bullets. _I probably would've shot myself, too,_ he thought. _It would've been a regular Romeo and Juliet_. And that thought scared him.

He put the gun in a box in the closet and shut the closet door. They had bought that gun for protection, not for suicide attempts.

With a sigh, he went back over to the bed and sat down. And that's when he noticed the envelope. Picking the envelope up, he saw that his name was written on it in Stephanie's pretty handwriting. He opened the envelope and started reading, realizing that this was her intended suicide letter. But he couldn't stop reading...

_Dear Chris, my love, my heart and soul... I can't imagine living life without you. I hate to be away from you. I can't be without you, I can't exist knowing the simple fact that you're not mine to have. I've been in love with you for as long as I can remember. Even back when we were "just friends" I was crazy about you. Now we're more than friends but we can't do anything. I envy Jessica more than I've envied anyone in my entire life. When I think of the way you touch me, I cringe at the thought that you touch her the same way... I think of how lucky she is to be your wife, to be the one who was able to pledge her heart to you in front to God and everyone else. And I think of how I'll never have the chance to share that sacred bond with you, because you're not going to leave her. I know that now. I also know that I'm rambling... I always ramble when I'm nervous, don't I? Get to the point, right? The point is, I love you with everything I am, everything I wanted to be... I cherish the time we spent together and all the sweet memories we made together. I love you more than life itself. I know I've been putting way too much pressure on you to leave your wife, and that wasn't cool. So to make things easier for you, I'm going to take myself out of the equation. Don't ever doubt my love for you, ok? Remember all the good times we shared and don't ever think this is your fault... If I don't have you, life is not worth living... Love Always, Stephy_...

"Oh my God," he whispered. "Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God." He dropped the letter and his vision blurred. He couldn't help but let the tears fall. He wiped his eyes furiously with the back of his hand and stood up. Just as he stood up, Stephanie appeared in the doorway.

"Chrissy?" she said, clutching the doorframe so that she wouldn't fall. She looked pale and she was trembling.

"What's wrong?" he asked. He hurried over to her, bumping into something on the way. Looking down, he saw the empty bottle of Tylenol. He walked over to her. "You didn't... Tell me you didn't."

"I forgot to load the bullets," she said with a weak smile. "But I forgot to mention that I swallowed those...damn...pills..."

"Stephy, why?" was all he could bring himself to ask.

"I love you," she said in a breathy voice. "And I'm so sorry."

"I love you, too," he whispered.

And then she collapsed in his arms...


	3. Chapter 3

**Title: **I Can't Be Without You

**Author:** TakerTakeMe

**Disclaimer:** I own no one and (as usual) everything that happens is fictional.

**Summary:** When Chris won't leave his wife, Stephanie does the unthinkable!

**Chapter:** 3

He felt her pulse. It was so weak that he could barely feel it, but it was fluttering along even so. He held her in his arms while he went to pick up his Sidekick 2. He quickly dialed 911.

When they picked up, he started yelling right away. "You've got to help me!"

"Calm down, sir. What's the problem?"

"The love of my life just swallowed a bottle of Tylenol!"

"What's your address?"

He gave the person the address to the beach house and hung up. He slipped the Sidekick 2 in his pocket. Then, cradling Stephanie tenderly in his muscular arms, he carried her out of the bedroom, down the hall, and carefully down the stairs. He laid her on the couch and ran to unlock the door. Then he went back over to the couch and held her in his arms, cradling her head to his chest.

"God, please let them hurry up." They were taking too long. Much too long. "Please, God. You know I don't ask you for much, but please don't take Stephy away from me. She's the only woman I've ever truly loved."

He looked down at her. She was so pale. So fragile. "Stephy, please don't leave me," he whispered. "Damn it, I need you!"

In the distance, he could hear the sirens of the ambulance. They got louder and louder as they approached, so loud until the point where Chris thought they were going to drive right into the house.

He laid Stephanie down on the couch gently again, then ran for the door. He opened the door and led the EMTs inside. "This way! She's in here!"

They ran into the room and just a short while later they were carrying Stephanie out on a stretcher with Chris right at her side.

"Are you coming in the ambulance with her?" one of the EMTs asked Chris.

"You're damn right I am," Chris replied almost savagely. "She needs me to be there for her." _But if I'd been there for her before, this never would've happened._

"No need to be hostile, sir," the EMT said curtly, and soon they were in the ambulance and en route to the hospital.

"Will she be ok?" Chris asked, holding one of Stephanie's hands. It was cold and clammy.

"We don't know. We're going to need to pump her stomach when we get to the hospital," the EMT said. "Too many pills is toxic, you know?"

"I can't believe she would do this to herself," Chris said sadly.

"Has she ever been suicidal?" the EMT asked.

"Not until today," Chris replied with a sigh. He looked down at Stephanie. "You have to make it, Stephy. For me..." A lone tear trailed down his cheek and fell onto her face as he leaned over to place a gentle kiss on her clammy forehead. _This is all my fault_, he thought. _All my fault_...

Later that day after they had pumped Stephanie's stomach and gotten all the pills out of her system, Chris sat in her room, bedside, intently watching her face. He was willing her to wake up, reaching out with his mind and hoping they had telepathy of some sort. _Stephy, open your eyes,_ he cried out with his mind. _Look at me. Wake up. God, please open her eyes._

As if she heard him, her eyes opened and she looked up at him.

"Thank you, God," he said, looking up at the ceiling. "I owe you one, God. I owe you."

Stephanie looked at him with heavy-lidded eyes. "Hi."

"Hey," he said softly. "Glad to see you awake."

"I'm sorry," she said. "I shouldn't have..."

"Don't worry about it," he said calmly. "Just...don't do it again, ok?"

"Ok," she said.

"I thought I was going to lose you, Stephy, and that scared me," he admitted.

"Why?"

"Because..." He leaned down to place a soft kiss on her lips. "Because... I can't be without you."

"I can't be without you, either," she breathed. "I love you too much."

"I read the letter," he said absently. "And I'm sorry I put you through so much. But I'll make it right, as soon as I divorce Jessica."

"You're actually going to..." Her voice trailed off as she yawned. "...actually going to divorce her?"

"Yes, baby, because I want to marry you," he answered.

"That sounds..." She yawned again. "That sounds absolutely...exquisite. I can't wait to start planning and..." She closed her eyes.

"For now you just concentrate on getting better," he said, rubbing her cheek gently. "Get some sleep."

"I love you," she whispered.

"I love you, too," he whispered back.

She fell asleep with a smile on her face...

He watched her sleep and vowed that she would never be in this predicament again.

**And that's the end, folks! You know, I almost put, "She fell asleep with a smile on her face..." pressed enter and put "She never woke up." But I couldn't bring myself to make her die! I admit it: I'm such a sappy sucker!**


End file.
